by Sarah E. Albanese
When I reflect on the past few years, I see a frazzled mom who had lost her direction in life. All too often, I compared myself to other moms and failed to remove myself from gossip and drama within my community.
My family and I were faithful about attending Sunday Mass and maybe an occasional holy hour, but most of my hours were filled with running from activity to activity.
Honestly, it was not enjoyable, and many moments were fraught with anxiety. I often did not know why I was doing all that I was doing, but I felt like I was following the crowd.
Like most moms, I put on the façade that I had it all together. However, I often found myself overwhelmed by my ever-growing to-do list. After one particularly difficult moment, I finally acknowledged that hubris was guiding my actions, not my faith. Then, an invitation helped to redirect my life. A nearby church was asking people to help keep their perpetual adoration chapel open. I immediately knew I had to respond. It was a Holy Spirit moment.
Almost a decade ago, I had been faithful to attending perpetual adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, and I had allowed this practice to slip away. As a mom of five, I did not think I could get away for an hour once a week. God knew that if I trusted him, it would all work out. God always knows what we need.
I immediately signed up for an evening adoration time when my littlest ones would be asleep, and my teens would be home from their activities. Instead of curling up on the couch, scrolling through Instagram, or worrying about the next day, I was choosing to allow Jesus to enter into one hour of my busy week.
Jesus was gently nudging me toward him, and I accepted the call. My first evening in the adoration chapel was the balm my anxious and worried mind needed. The quiet is what struck me the most.
My home is rarely quiet, and I had forgotten how you can hear your heartbeat and your breathing when it is quiet. I had forgotten how to pray without being interrupted as I so often am at church or in my home. Frankly, I had forgotten how to sit still.
My first month in adoration was very emotional. I was struck by how much the Father loves me, and I was in desperate need of his love and mercy. One evening, the image of God the Father embracing me filled me with great solace and brought me to tears.
In our moments of despair, loneliness, and overwhelming sadness, God is there to give us a hug. He will break through every moment if he is allowed. Psalm 117 reminds us: "For great is his steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever."
Through the gift of adoration, I was rediscovering my faith all over again. I was allowing the Lord's presence to wash over me and bring me back to him.
This new year, I invite you to experience Jesus in adoration. He is waiting for you. Even if your parish does not have an adoration chapel, look around at the nearby parishes in your community. There are also weekly adoration services and First Friday adoration devotions practiced throughout the archdiocese.
Sarah E. Albanese is a mother of five and a parishioner at St. Pius X Parish in Broomall.
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